Her Sunshine

Hate stress

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On the 28^th January 2010, this day had incredibly marked the 2 years 3 months, 27 months, 117 weeks, 823 days we had been together. Well, it is gonna to be longer than that.

I love you, big bu.

More Random…

Actually I don’t really know how to start the ball rolling but just a thought that I got a strongest mom and my dad had married a strong wife. As what I know, it is really hard to please in-laws, I have no idea about the current generation, but the older generation is more traditional and my grandparents are one of those.

I felt like I am going through what the drama always show on TV, so I am not going to blog the details.

On the whole, my grandpa is sick, and yes terribly sick. I felt really useless because I cannot do anything to ease any discomfort in his body. After him being discharged from hospital, he had been staying over my place so that was why our family did a lot of changes in our daily routines especially my mom.

My mom became like a 24-hours nurse, looking after my grandpa, even during the night time, she stays 24/7 alert. Many random incidents happened, be it like cleaning faeces and even sometimes when my grandpa falls or faints, my mom took care of them. Employing a nurse could be an alternative, but my mom doesn’t really accept the idea because, how well you can trust an outsider and also be 24/7 alert and patient?

I don’t know, I just suddenly put myself in her shoe and thoughts like, whether I can do the same when one day my own parents were to become old? I doubt so. I think all these took lots of courage and mental and physical strength.

That was why I said earlier on, older generation like my grandpa tends to be more traditional. Well, I don’t know why I actually said this, but I just felt like their thinking is more conservative and definitely due to some personal stuffs that are not bound to be blog here. I felt pretty sad when my grandpa said sorry to me because he had been imposing my family. I mean, why would he say sorry about him imposing us?! We don’t feel that way. I don’t know what to say, but told him in tears that, no matter you are sick or healthy, you are always my grandpa and welcome in this place.

Well, I love the way my mom is, she had been cool about everything. Even she knew that sometimes the elderly is hard to please yet she told me that, as long as he recovers, it worth everything. I know it is never been easy.

I am really proud to have her being my mom, a lot. I hope that my grandpa could really recover soon too.

I love you grandpa.

I love you mom.

Goodnight. 

No, I don’t know which word is the best to be my title.  But yes, this is also what I am feel right now and so much of being discouraged.  First and foremost, I know I have many faults in many things I had done.  But many times, I don’t realize because I am just like that and cannot be controlled.  I am still a noob compared to you.  Many times if you started a game, don’t try to get mad with me when I am somehow get out of control.  This is just me, not an experienced player.  I don’t think I am entirely to be blame on.  But I apologized.

I am hell feeling so negative because right now, I am somehow being classified into the same kind with someone I detest (close to hate) so much. Besides the game, even if one day I am being put into someone I detest so much on a normal basis, I will feel damn disgusted.  Could you ever feel that way?!  But now to even classifying me to be the same kind with someone I detest so much again, not only I would feel disgusted, I felt really demoralized. 

No, no other words I can really described it.  Just put it in your shoe. 

I hate being classified into the same kind with the person I really hate the most.

Fuck it – cannot be more negative than this right now.

Finally this had come to an end where no more FYP after school or coming back to school on any days when we were having our off days. Furthermore, results for FYP are out, it’s a relief to me.

So last Tuesday we came back to school to wash all the shit from the tanks. What we got from that was some uneven tan lines after washing all of them under the hot sun for couple of hours. Crap! But hell, that was last! =)