YAY! I’ve painted my nails, my manicuring spirit is back. Though I am really tired after my Capoeira training from school, body is aching seriously. But because I had an urge to paint my nails despite of my tiredness, I just painted it. It is a little untidy due to my lack of patient to let it dry. Nevertheless, I am satisfied with it.
Being impulsive could be good, it doesn’t allow me to think too much just to get a simple thing to be done. At times, being impulsive is a joy. At least I won’t feel really regretful by not doing it. However, at times for certain issue, you need the guts to bear the consequences.
I hate thinking too much, so I choose not to bother. Problems may still remain unsolved, but at least I tried to solve it. Problems definitely are not created individually, be it the affected ones, the hurt ones, the unhappiness are always created by the both parties.
It doesn’t mean that by not thinking much on the problems is sweeping everything under the carpet. As I said, at least I tried to decipher the cause of the problem and trying to make it better. As hard as I tried, nothing had improved. I had invested my effort, but nothing had improved. Nothing I can do since I’ve tried it, no reason for me to eat any more humble pies.
Therefore, choosing not to refer to the problem seemed like giving me a better life rather than bitter life. I am really happy with everything I have, every seconds of my life. There are always some analogies that are actually to be analysis and to pick and learn from it.
I know that no one is perfect. But I am a perfectionist myself, which can be really irksome. Mushroom once told me this, “The perfect is the beauty of the imperfect.”
Problems are always problems, when there are problems there must be always a solution. The solutions for it are just yet to be found. It will be found someday down the road when it is time to be found.
I need to be myself. I used to think about how people will look at me, how people acknowledge me. I don’t think it is important to me anymore. I love talking loudly, being unglamorous and whatsoever I want to, because that will be me. I don’t need any limelight from anywhere, in fact I hate it. I hate being the example of others. But it also doesn’t mean that, I am callous. Anyway, to certain people, we don’t even need to have any EQ to speak. But sometimes, I choose to withdraw my EQ. Thinking too much doesn’t seem like my style. I will then be straightforward. Whatever I said, I will never reflect. I can never collect the water that I’ve poured.
Let’s see, I think I improved my sensitivity throughout the years because of some sensitive people I used to hang out with in the past. But it doesn’t felt good anyway. Giving lots of thoughts about them, nothing could be in return. Humans are greedy, all of us want expect something in return and at least happiness in return could be good. Helping others makes me happy and then it made my day (that is something good in return). The worst thing is that, no one appreciates the thoughts I had for them and no one actually gives me a damn thought. So why should I, and that makes me so bitter?!
What I’ve learnt is that, I will put myself in the person’s shoe but still say the truth. That’s all. I know it is hurting, but too bad that is the truth, so face it. We are all selfish. We just want the best for ourselves first. So face the fact, all humans are like that.
Why bother?! Ignorance may be a bliss.
There are too many things to vex about seriously. I don’t care how the world looks at me; I care about how I look at the world. Anyway, the past shall be the past. There is nothing worth thinking about those bad problems, bad days, bad mistakes that were done. Tomorrow is a new start that I care and should be excited about it. There is no way to take back the time that had just past even 1 second ago, just treasure the best moments out of it and feel happy. =)
Perhaps, this is the reality and this is its beauty.
I know it is lengthy. Pardon me for that, =)
Alright, tomorrow I’m having class.
I’m turning in. I hate being late lately.
Yes, I agree that punctuality is 100% important.
